Painful sex & Vaginismus

Painful sexual intercourse is also known as dysparenunia. Some pain during sex at times is normal. However, when pain is severe and ongoing it can prevent a person from enjoying sexual relationships.

In men sex pain is unusual but does occur. If the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis is too tight this can result in pain during can penetration. Also inadequate hygiene of an uncircumcised penis can result in infections under the skin can lead to irritations during sex.

For women, sexual pain is more common. A women may experience pain with partial, vaginal entry, during intercourse and after intercourse. Dyspareunia can be caused by a variety of factors, both physical and emotional.

If you are experiencing dyspareunia it is important to rule out any physical conditions caused by illness, infections or diseases. A check up with a medical practitioner can easily rule out any physical causes of pain.

For women, pain free sexual intercourse often depends on how ready they are for penetration. If a woman is not ready for penetration she may experience pain on entry due to a lack of lubrication or on deep penetration due to muscular tension. Pain on deep penetration often results when there is pressure against womb or ovaries, which can be more sensitive during certain times of the menstrual cycle. Experimenting with water based lubricants, different positioning, forms of non-penetrative sex or longer foreplay may help alleviate pain.

Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles caused by a deep emotional inability to relax muscles to allow penetration. The cause of vaginismus will vary according to each individual. Sexual trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, body image concerns, fear of intimacy or relationships problems can all be factors that may cause the pelvic floors muscles to tense, which may result in painful sex.

The body holds the memory of all our physical experiences so if sexual penetration was initially a very painful or unpleasant experience, it can cause the body to brace against the anticipation of sex in the future. It is important to work with the body’s defences and to slowly introduce forms of sexual play, including some forms of penetration, that are pleasurable and not painful. “Pushing through” the pain will only exacerbate sexual pain in the future..

As a sex therapist I work with individuals helping them explore their body mind connection in an effort to find the cause to sexual pain. By tuning into our embodied experiences, I support individual’s to become more aware of their own unique experience, and provide tools and methods to transform negative sexual experiences into positive and pleasurable ones. I also work alongside pelvic floor physiotherapists who can also support the process of overcoming vaginismus.